it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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