i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
