Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
