No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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