they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
i think im in europe. pls send help
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
