At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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