big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
