i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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