Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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