okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
