So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
