i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
