Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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