My nipple is on Facebook.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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