yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
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