His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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