Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
