He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
