i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
