at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Sext me about skeletons
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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