Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
