You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
