what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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