I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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