try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
