Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
