Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
