quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
