And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
