1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
