Don't you send me to vm
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
