also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
lol hangovers are for mortals.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
