so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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