Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
