We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
