Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Damn victory sex feels great
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
