I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
