I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
