capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
