I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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