is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
