"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
