she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
