She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
