I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
