This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize