I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize