Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
