just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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