So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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