yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
