He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
