Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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