My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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