I bet he comes in French.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
