Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
