Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
