just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
