Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
