if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
