Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My pussy is not your playground.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
