Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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