Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize