She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
