people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
