Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
