So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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