was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
