Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
